A tax loophole is "something that benefits the other guy. “ —A slogan of the Revolutionary … SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. NOTICE: While your contribution is vital and directly supports The Political Insider, it is NOT tax deductible. “Optimist: Someone who sets aside two hours to do his income tax return.” —Author Unknown “The present tax code is about 10 times longer than the Bible, a lot more complicated, and, unlike the Bible, contains no good news.” —Don Nickles, former U.S. senator, “Taxation without representation is tyranny. Warning: this list contains 7 very NERDY jokes. Apr 18, 2017 - We all pay taxes. "No," says the man. cry the happy mother and father of the boy. . $99 + tax/day … Courtesy of the folks at NewsMax, who have the stomachs to watch these shows. Any tax puns and jokes? Long, U.S. © 2021 The Political Insider – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. And tomorrow, on April 15, we pay our taxes to support them. Alexa is a freelance writer and communications consultant, with experience working on the Hill, at the RNC, and for National Review. (Jimmy Kimmel, with modifications) Here is a list of other illegal tax practices! Any tax puns and jokes? Courtesy of the folks at NewsMax, who have the stomachs to watch these shows. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. A tax cut is like motherhood, apple pie, and the Star Spangled Banner - everybody is for it. And please post the old corny ones too - I find everything hilarious during busy season. We all know the pain of Tax Day, the most dreaded day of the year. Herman Cain "What are the eight cents for?" “Tax Day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”. Tax Day is a time of hand-wringing and misery, even if some people might be to blame for their own misery. 6. TAX DAY JOKES - A LITTLE LATE FOR ALL AMERICANS BUT EARLY FOR SWEDES Phoenixbird #295 . Tax Humor (page 2) If taxes climb any higher, they may go into orbit. The shearing being completed, the farmer was proceeding with the burial when the onlooker voiced his curiosity. 19, 2019 Check out this sideshow of funny jokes that get you feeling the season. So, as you’re woefully taking stock of how much hard-earned money the government is taking from you, here are 8 great tax jokes to help make Tax Day a little more bearable! Tax Day Its Time For Tax. Account Me Out. It also takes Americans 46 days just to earn enough to cover their tax bill. 2. Tax Day Humor. Yes, you read that right. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them. Tax Quotes “I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. Enjoy some more good old-fashioned jokes! Two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes. "I work for the tax department." Especially for procrastinators like myself. Tax Day April 15th Uncle Sam Glitter Picture. Feb 18, 2014 - Explore Comfort Keepers ~ Fresno Calif's board "Tax Day - April 15th", followed by 593 people on Pinterest. 0 Jennifer Cameron; Today is tax day in the United States….probably the single most dreaded day of the year. More jokes about: blonde, drug, money, tax The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. It simplifies the code dramatically: 9% business flat tax, 9% personal flat tax, 9% sales tax. In a tax shelter. "Are you a doctor?" THANK YOU!" View a gallery of tax cartoons, including cartoons on income taxes, the IRS, Tax Day, and other funny cartoons about paying taxes. April 15 is “Tax Day” in the United States. “Optimist: Someone who sets aside two hours to do his income tax return.” —Author Unknown “The present tax code is about 10 times longer than the Bible, a lot more complicated, and, unlike the Bible, contains no good news.” —Don Nickles, former U.S. senator, “Taxation without representation is tyranny. A certain farmer was locally famous for the fine crops he raised of potatoes and onions, especially in very dry seasons. A big list of irs jokes! Follow her on Twitter @AlexaShrugged. The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. Tax Quotes “I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. “I’m not going to pay taxes. Today is 'Tax Day,' and that means misery for lots of people. Asked how he did it, he replied that it was really very easy: He simply planted the two crops in alternate rows. 24. $99 + tax/day *based on availability. The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. See more ideas about tax day, accounting humor, tax. TAX DAY JOKES - A LITTLE LATE FOR ALL AMERICANS BUT EARLY FOR SWEDES Phoenixbird #295 . There was a man who made his tax returns promptly and properly only to find that he owed the IRS [Internal Revenue Service], in 1997, $3,407USD. Learn more. 25 April Fools’ Day Jokes to Make Everyone Laugh Emma Taubenfeld Updated: Feb. 18, 2021 Tis the season for practical jokes, public humiliation, and nonstop fun. Advertiser Disclosure You’re our #1 priority. Consider using these after Tax Day instead of before! Paying your taxes can be a miserable experience , so why not at least have a sense of humor about it. She is based in Northern Virginia and blogs at AlexaShrugged.com. Read the funniest jokes about Tax Advisors and Tax Auditors ... One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet." Absolutely hilarious one liners! April 15, 2015 , In: Business Tips. "What you don't know doesn't hurt you" doesn't apply to the hidden taxes in the things you buy. "Tax," replies the clerk. It takes a philosopher. 10) Tax Day is the day that truckers send their money to Washington, D.C. and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.” — Arthur Godfrey “The trouble with the profession of tax collecting is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.” — anonymous “Day in and day out, your … Funny Tax Quotes and Facts Read More » 2000 Austin, Texas 78701 Phone: 512.381.0222 ... An accountant without the sense of humor. The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax. — Russell B. Tax Day is a time of hand-wringing and misery, even if some people might be to blame for their own misery. BONUS: You’ll also receive our Almanac Companion newsletter! You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we’ll call it even.”. (Jimmy Kimmel, with modifications) Here is a list of other illegal tax practices! Tax Day Click It Illustration. 19, 2019 Check out this sideshow of funny jokes that get you feeling the season. Tax his cow, tax his goat, Tax his pants, tax his coat. Tax Day Grunge Seal Isolated On White. 9) Diesel Stations collect taxes -- federal, provincial, and … Top 40 Accounting Jokes to Liven Up Your Day Now that tax season is over, accountants finally have space to lighten up and take a beach day — or keep working (whatever makes you happiest). As busy season is coming underway, are there any tax jokes (or accounting jokes - that are not audit related) that you like? It comes in handy when he passes it around.” –Soupy Sales. Jan 4, 2021 - Explore Molly Sell's board "Tax Season Humor" on Pinterest. Warning: this list contains 7 very NERDY jokes. How do you know when an accountant is on holiday?