The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?” He replies, “They had eggs.”, On the way home from work. ). Grocery Store Stereotypes! When the hot bag boy offers to carry her groceries to the car she can’t help herself, and whispers in his ear, “hey, I’ve got an itchy pussy.”, ... they want to make America grate again, A guy is sorting shelves at a grocery store when a new old.lady approaches him and asks, "where's the broccoli?". I lost her somewhere in another asile.". Still thinking about when I went grocery shopping last week. A Amish wife was coming home from grocery shopping and a highway patrol noticed the slow moving vehicle sign was danging and about ready to fall off. "I frequently fly to the Orient." See more ideas about puns, food puns, funny puns. The person was arrested for being a cereal killer. He does it in a civil manner, so the bartender doesn't mind, but he whines. Jan 25, 2018 - Explore Andrea Rusch's board "grocery store puns" on Pinterest. Sep 27, 2016 - Explore steelheader6060's board "Grocery Store Puns" on Pinterest. If he stopped, she stopped. “Excuse me?” Says the man “why would you need all that milk for?” . Someone told him the Tide is coming in on the next truck. As she was new to her convent, her job was to do the grocery shopping every week. From January, 1981 to September, 1984 and again from July, 1986 to August, 1997 I worked at a large supermarket in Duluth, MN. He spies a carton on the shelf labeled "Soy Milk". Post Cancel. Jokes News Laugh for Fun.- Funny, Blonde, Pepito, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes. 100 characters remaining. A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. Share Tweet. They went around the town on their bicycles and had a ball of a time, since they don't usually get to roam about and the convent was soooo boring. We can’t afford those.” Without another word, … He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. 50 Coronavirus Jokes That Should Help You Get Through Quarantine . A lady had a gallon of milk and a gallon of iced tea. Oct 19, 2019 - Explore Judy Haegele Rhoades's board "Grocery store humor", followed by 117 people on Pinterest. There were these cheese and cracker samples. Put it back," demands the wife. I already had a few essentials picked out like milk, eggs, and bacon. So he kneels and prays to God, "Please God, let me find a way to feed my family". Embarrassed and red-faced, she explains "Um...I have an itchy coochee..." 5th Grade Fight. ", An old lady walks into her local grocery store and starts browsing through the produce section. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, "No." The man isn't too bright, so they give him a job a grocer. ). A woman who was shopping heard this and asked, "Is that his name?" I told the lady at the grocery store that she drew her eyebrows too high.. She seemed surprised. One guy walks up and she says “Drop your pants.” She measures him and says “You need size extra large.” Another guy walks up, pulls down his pants and says, “You need size extra small.”, So I asked my friend, to which he replied:"Just btw", and gets horny looking at all of the cucumbers and savory meats. Starts at 60 Writers. No nothing. You know what they’re saying about 2020. The duck says to the cashier, "Excuse me sir, do you have any duct tape?". A rich, American man had bad luck with women and finally decided to find a mail order bride from Russia. As the cute cashier was ringing up my stuff, she saw that all I had was some ramen noodles, frozen burritos, and canned spaghetti. At the end, the shoe store guys kicked the crap out of all the grocery packers. ", She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. After ripping a silent one the guy in front of me asks the lady behind the counter which cheese smells such aromatically. 123. The old lady responds, "I'm looking to buy some broccoli." His father also comes home early, and the boyfriend of his mother comes running down and hides in the kids room as well. The neighbor was grocery shopping, the relative was on vacation, and the coworker was home watching The Walking Dead. “Cause you’re the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” he says. asked the wife. He doesn’t remember a lot. He's approached by a store associate who asks him "can I have a moment of your time?" She expressed some sympathy as it's pretty rough times right now, and asked me what my business was. They sleep in the silliest places, climb to the craziest heights, and hide in the narrowest spots.And while we love our furry feline friends, we sometimes can't help but have a laugh at their expense. During a poker game one night, Bill, about four beers deep, tells his buddies that he’s had it with his wife and has decided to hire someone to kill her for $1,000. Shopaholics jokes are very rare, but Jokerz has the biggest collection of best & funny shopping jokes for everyone. The mother says. And said the cashier was very rude. He starts to masturbate and before long he's about to climax. I started unloading my groceries onto the belt. Click here for more information. Furthermore she kept staring at him... She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son." Grocery Shopping. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality, but I do hope that you enjoy them anyway…. He called his wife and asked what was needed. Shopping jokes, only on Jokerz! Post Cancel. Please go the grocery store and buy one. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six. One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries . The stock boy responds, "I'm terribly sorry ma'am but we are entirely out of broc, She stops to talk to him, and he can't remember who she is. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart. The cashier, I was at the grocery store yesterday picking up some ingredients to make breakfast for the week. The employee apologizes and tells her that they are fresh out but should be getting another shipment in the next morning. Jackson Gentry. After getting all his groceries, he sees something interesting at the check-out counter. “I need to get 80 gallons of milk please”, she replies. He sees a pile of potatoes, and asks the store keeper: As the cashier scans his food, she looks at it all and says "You must be single.". Sep 19, 2020 - Explore Tammy T.'s board "Grocery store humor" on Pinterest. A programmer went to go grocery shopping. He goes about his shopping, albeit a bit unnerved by the clerk’s hungry eyes. Home Parenting Jokes Grocery Shopping. ...so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend. I went to get 6 Sprites. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. Only $10 for a case," he replies. We need to have a talk! The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. A man was observing a woman who was grocery shopping in the supermarket with a three year old girl in her basket. So, yes, I was stranded on a desserted aisle. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. Search Results for: grocery store « Previous Jokes. ', No wait she's back, she just just got back from grocery shopping. I took one and the guy goes, "cheese louise". They buy various items, including lots of jars of food. They go grocery shopping for their first time as a married couple. He gets to the register and the worker scans all his items. Not knowing what it is, he asks a worker. Jeff and his husband Steve are grocery shopping. “They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans.” Jeff responds. They each say excuse me and the young man says "I'm sorry I bumped into you, it's just that I'm looking for my wife. Just wait until you see the wait time to schedule an appointment with your obstetrician this fall! They would fall out in their own time. For the first couple weeks, I didn’t earn much money. ..because he had forgot the list at home. I moved to the cereal aisle but got stuck deciding between Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Fruity Pebbles, whic. But it’s been a week and I just keep getting hungrier. The man walks to the middle of the store, bends down, picks his dog up by the tail and begins swinging the dog around in a circle over his head. That must be exciting!" Grocery Shopping Joke Share This on Facebook. "Oh, mummy, this is wonderful," says Quasimodo. Add joke. "I just love Chinese food!" What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag. The grocery clerk said "I'm sorry Ma'am but I can't. Across the United States, more than two million people work in grocery stores. The stock boy notices and approaches her to ask if he can help. So, whether the following guidance is for those who may have been exposed to it or choosing to self-isolate to help slow its spread, people are locking themselves in their homes. See more ideas about humor, work humor, bones funny. It won’t be long.” In the candy aisle, the little girl whines for candy. Anonymous. Twenty Jokes And Puns About Grocery Store Workers. Shopping Jokes; Randomness. Shopping jokes, only on Jokerz! Shopping Jokes. The bag boy offers to help her to her car with the many bags she has. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane. I already have an $18 chicken, a $6 gallon of milk, and 3 avocados up there", So you can bet I’ll be eating Aldi ice cream. “How can I help you miss?” Says the man behind the counter. Grocery Store Jokes: Check out supermarket puns, shopping cart humor, stock laughter, fresh food jokes, paper or plastic puns and gross grocer jokes. so I bought a couple bags of bread crumbs and now have a weekend project. All of them deny it and have an alibi. Aug 16, 2019. ). Love em' or hate em', we all know em' Click HERE to subscribe to Dude Perfect! As they pass the cookie section, the little girl screams for cookies. WhatsApp. I told her that it was a bit of a rough patch because my start-up business wasn't doing so well. The grandson picks up a toy and the grandma shouts: DEGREE, put the toy back"! A 50 something year old wakes up one morning and decides she doesn't like the way she looks so she gets botox. Sister Mary and Sister Margaret are walking around the grocery store, when they find the following sign: A husband and wife were grocery shopping. “Well you see, its a beauty tip. Advertisement. One picks up a russet potato and says: "This reminds me of my husbands penis. You bathe in milk for an hour and your skin appears 10 years younger”, she sa.